friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk is not a location!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
