In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
