And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
