Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
