and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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