I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
