i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
