They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
