I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
