I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
