had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
