He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
