I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
