Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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