He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
