Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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