Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
