you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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