need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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