I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
