Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i would punch a child for taco bell
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
