i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
