people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
