Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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