She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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