Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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