did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
