The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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