it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
