I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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