do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
