what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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