do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
