Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
