just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
