brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
