Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
