Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Found your dick twin last night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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