and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
