He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
