hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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