I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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