Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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