Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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