Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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