I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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