The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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