There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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