your room smells of hookers.
And success
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
