so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
