I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
