we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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