Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
