That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
