yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
