I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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