i just wanna soil my oats bro
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
