Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
