Your tits are I can't wait for
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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