Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
