yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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